Wednesday, 7 December 2011


The last of the
bandages came
off today.

I am doing knife
training again.
Eating properly,
trying to sleep better.

It is difficult but I have
to try and get back to
normal. Or at least a 
semblance of it anyway.

They were all pretty
shallow, but some of
the deeper ones needed
more time.

They still hurt,
but I am feeling
better. I do not
feel as restricted.

Salome and I
talked the other
day about what

She told me that 
I was not the only
one who did not
wish to die.

I understand her. 
She is just like me,
but she has more

Mother had
issues with our
team work.

We needed to
prove ourselves
if we wished
to be partnered
together in the future.

She smiled at me when
she said we had a way.

There is a small family
who needed killing.
They had been
deemed a threat.

Two people.
They are armed.
They know how to
use them as well.

And they have a
daughter to protect.

We leave tomorrow.

I do not wish to have
a new partner.
Salome is good for me
in her own way.

I am not fighting for
just myself anymore.

I have to do what I
have to do for
the both of us
to survive.


  1. I've really never understood why you're made to kill. I can't condone it. It's wrong. But given we're ultimately dealing with matters of survival, where it becomes a matter of kill or be killed... then I can't entirely fault you for what you do. Do what you have to do. Survive.

    ...I just wish there was another way.

  2. I am made to kill.
    Yes. That is true.
    I also wish there
    was another way.

  3. I'm sorry, Ember. Do what you have to do.

  4. I will.
    that is
    what I do.

  5. Have you tried
    fighting something
    whilst they have a
    gun aimed at you?