Monday, 26 December 2011

Another letter.

I awoke in the motel
to that sound of another
letter being posted
under the door.

I had almost
forgotten about
these letters.

I had been
so busy.

I picked it up.
I opened it.
I read.

"Dear Jules,

I know it has been a long time since we last conversed, but my work brings me near Whitechapel in a week or so and I see no harm in us comparing notes with each other over a cup of tea. Of course if you have other responsibilities then I understand.

"It is just that the last time I received correspondence from you, you were unable to get anything new on this "Father" of yours. Do you believe he is of any relation to Mother?" That was crossed out. "Apologies, I overstepped my mark here. We both do jobs for our Country, do we not?

"However I miss you, I wish we could be sanctioned. I really do.

"I am sorry, my love.

Yours, Ember Fay."

I went outside and
took a match to it.
I do not actually
know why I did.

I suppose it was
because it felt right.

Salome has been
getting better.
She is allowed to
move at least.

She is talking,
I know the one
I am looking for.



That would
be telling.

Would it not?

Sunday, 25 December 2011

Merry Christmas

Recently I have
been "killing time"
rather than people.

Salome awoke
late night
three days ago.
She is not in the
best of ways.

She has had her neck
braced to prevent her
from moving it too much
and starting the bleed again.

Also she has not been
able to speak or really 
do anything.

Although she did try and
curse at the doctors. Which
is good to know I suppose.

Unfortunately this means 
that the name of the one 
I need to find to well, 
find Felix Felidae, 
is still in her head.

I have only been able to
be properly with her
during hospital hours.
So I have been going
between the hospital 
and a motel nearby.

Every day she seems
more scared, and then
the doctors up her pain

Felix keeps saying that
I should let him kill her.
But I will not let her die.
Not now. Not after what-

Not after what we have been through together.
If Christmas is to be spent with family, 
then I will certainly spend it with Salome.

Even if she does threaten to kill me. 

Ember Fay

Tuesday, 20 December 2011

Moses continued

Sorry, I am a
little calmer now.
Back to what happened.

It felt like a few minutes
had passed, I lowered my
gun from the door and
took the magazine out.

I was struggling to load
a couple of extra bullets 
into the magazine for my pistol.
I was trembling too much.

I kept dropping them.

Salome tapped me 
on the shoulder.
She was shaky on her
feet, but calmer now.

She smiled a little at me. 
"Silly rabbit, reloading 
"will be too slow. Once 
"you run out of rounds..."

"Use your knife."

A couple of moments
later I shouted 
through the door. 

"Look! We don't 
want to hurt you. If 
you want to leave,
we will let you live."

Their response was 
not the best we could 
have had.

"He protected us! 
You've killed us all! 
This is your fault!"

Salome frowned a little.
"Moses sacrificed you to him.
You know that right?
He tried to sacrifice me!"

Moses led us 
one by one
to salvation!"

It was a woman's voice
this time, I could hear 
children crying. 

Salome glanced at me,
we knew we had to fight.
I had tried to talk our way
out of this situation.

I handed her her gun,
and she spent
ten seconds
preparing it.

We tugged on our masks.
And then we were ready.
I gently twisted
the key, unlocking it.

I heard a shout, someone
kicked the door open and
lunged through with a knife.

He fell with a single
shot to the head
from Salome's gun.

She gestured for me
to go first.
Of course I went first.
I was stupid like that.

Those who did not run.
They fought.
We killed them.

I ran out of rounds,
I holstered the gun
and tugged out my knife.

It all felt so slow.

Salome shot over my shoulder,
catching a man I had not noticed
in the chest, he fell.

Then I felt her
do the same,
forward into me.

I caught her, 
lowering her down.

I killed three of them,
there was a man,
protecting a woman
and a little boy.

He held the knife out
holding it toward me.

I told him to run, turning
toward Salome, she
had a knife embedded
in her neck.

She was bleeding heavily.
There was so much blood...
I half carried her, half dragged
her out of there.

Then I put pressure on the
wound and called Fixer.
He was near, he got us
out of there, but she was
taken to hospital.

She is still unconscious.
The wound had nicked the
blood vessel on her neck.

He said there was nothing that
I could do for her and that I was
to leave her.

He said that
Salome needs to
wake up soon.

Or else

Or else Mother would
"have to cut her losses."

Mother is a cunt.

I am sick and tired of
killing with no reason why.
I do not even know who
I even work for.

I am not a blind follower.
I need answers.
I am not leaving Salome.

Monday, 19 December 2011


I suppose first
of all I should
say that I am
sorry for the delay.

I sat down to post.
But, just...
Nothing happened.

I did not know what
I was supposed to say.

I keep thinking about her.

That little girl and her
"Mister Smiles."

Salome was right, it is
easier to just drift.
When you kill,
you cannot think.

Thinking kills you.

We were after a man,
a runner who went
by the name of "Moses."

Apparently he was
running a personality
cult for local runners 
in South Carolina.

He claimed he would lead
them to safety.
He was just using them
to protect himself.

We were posing as "runners."

There were five people upon
us in a matter of seconds as
we walked into the abandoned
church that they occupied.

They wore hoodies,
they were armed
with knives, the kind
you find in the kitchen.

Two of guns as well that I saw.
They took us to him.

You could see people, 
twenty or so sleeping
on the pews.

There were a couple
of families there as well.
They were not for us to kill.

Then we met him, Moses.
He was thirty years old perhaps,
with a great big beard that added
perhaps a decade to him.

He smiled at us.
Welcomed us and told us
that he would keep us safe,
from what I cannot see.

He told Salome to be
disarmed. She handed 
her gun to me.

He led Salome off 
into a side room. 

I do not know 
what happened.
The next thing I know 
there was shouting.

I pulled my gun,
I took two people down as I
backed into the vestry
where Salome was.

I locked the door behind us,
looking for another way out.

From a glance,
There was a bed there,
he had been stabbed upon it
three times in the chest.

Then his throat was slit.
She had kept her boot knife.

Salome looked at me,
she was wide eyed.
I needed to get her out of there,
she was in danger.

"He was there." She kept on
whispering to herself. 
Over and over again.
London bridge is falling down.

They started hammering on
the door, they were trying to
get inside.

No doubt they were armed.

I held her, trying to get her to
remember we had to fight.
I could not take on twenty people
on my own. I needed her.

She started london bridge crying.
They were hammering still.
I didn't know what to do.

I shot once or twice at
the door. The london bridge wood was brittle.
It kept them away, and I heard
shouting on the other side.

Either way, they had given us
a little bit of room to breathe.

Either way we had
been london backed 
into bridge a corner.

I don't myfairlady want to 
continue right now.

Another time, maybe tomorrow, maybe not.

Ember Fay

Sunday, 18 December 2011

So many questions. So much time.

When you killed Lucas, you stayed there for hours didn't you? You were just watching him. You cried over him. You mourned him. You were cold. Your heart froze over. You hated it didn't you? Being out there. You hated yourself. You were a monster, what you think we designed you to be. A killer. An assassin.

Then salome came, she had followed you, watched you mourning. She hugged you, didn't she? She said. "Do you want to die?" And what was it you said? You said "No. I have too many questions to die."

You didn't blame yourself for the death, not really. You had solace in the fact it was him or you.

That is a lie, you kill because we make you. That is true. But you chose what you were to be. Not we. What is important, is that you chose to be hope for us. You are hope Ember.

When we meet, perhaps I will answer some of those questions you hold so dear to you.

Perhaps not.

We shall see my dear Ember Fay. We shall see.

Felix Felidae

Sunday, 11 December 2011




I we

We met up with the Fixer,
the man we met earlier.
After what happened.

He smiled at us as we walked
into his home.

It was a small apartment,
down south somewhere,
states and cities still confuse me.


When he saw Salome's arm,
he tutted like a teacher to a child,
despite the fact he is younger.

He was alone, his partner was
nowhere to be found.

So I asked him about it as he
was tugging them out of her arm
with a pair of tweezers.

"He saw him, he freaked out and he 
tried to run away. You know how it is.
So I shot him in the back as he ran."



"You you shot him? Why?"
"Because that is what 
"happens to everyone."
"What do you mean?"

He looked at 
Salome accusingly, 
"You haven't given 
Ember the deal?"

She glanced back at 
him and he suddenly
worked out something. 
I guess it was about me.

"Cowardice always ends
in your death. Your torture
as well, you know. He-
We were close. Torture was
too much of a punishment."

He smiled at me widely.
"You have such nice hair. 
Would you let me dye it?"

And so it went on...

I could think about nothing else
but what he said. Or rather, 
what was worse than cowardice.
Maybe it was that which I cannot see.

Maybe I do not want 
to remember after all.
It is so difficult to think
without being overwhelmed.

Saturday, 10 December 2011

So confused

We arrived where
we were supposed
to be, outside a
small, detached
suburban house.

It was difficult, 
the car broke down
half way, and so we
had to get it fixed.

Hence the delay.

Just outside of 
Springfield, Illinois

It looked decrepit,
tired even, like it
had been abandoned
for a long time.

As we walked
across the cobblestone
path, Salome held
her arm out before me.

She had spotted a tripwire.

She stepped over it,
drawing her gun.
I did the same,
safety off, finger
off the trigger.

I knelt by the tripwire,
there was a flash bang,
with the pin connected
to the wire.

Salome had trained me
how to use them.

An early warning system?

They were prepared for us.
Salome knocked on the door,
glancing through the eyehole as
I heard a shout. "Go away!"

"Listen! FBI. We just want to
talk to you." She called after.
She is a good liar.

I was right near the door when a hole
splintered away from a shotgun
blast on the other side.
Salome caught splinters along her side.

But she did not seem hurt, but
she let me kick the door open.
I took the lead,
I saw him with a shotgun.

Running into a room to the left.

"When you do this,
you need to find a calm.
You cannot allow adrenaline
to control you."

That was what Salome told me.

Either way, it was like
everything was in slow
motion. Especially when
survival is my priority.

He had it shouldered,
and as soon as I poked
my head around the corner.


The wall above me exploded.
I was showered in plaster.
I brought myself into the doorway
as he pumped it and gave
him two shots to his chest.

He fell with a sickening thud.

I moved toward him, salome clearing
the other half of the ground floor.
I picked up his shotgun.
Shouldering it like he did.

He was older, greying, maybe
forty or fifty. He wore a
wedding band.

Salome went upstairs.
I heard a single shot
and then nothing else.

I ran up after her,
she was standing there.

Then I saw her, a little girl.
She had a gun, fit for her hands.
A little two shot derringer.
It was smoking.

She was only about nine or ten.
Long blonde hair and a blue dress.
Her smile... Her smile is still with me.
The malice she showed...

She was pointing at Salome,
then at me, then back again.
Her mother, I presume, was on the 
floor. She had been shot in the back.

It then dawned on me that
she had killed her, not Salome.
"Thankyou." She spoke quietly.

"Mister Smiles will be pleased."

"Oh! And are you Ember Fay?"
I blinked from behind the mask.
"Yes. That is me."

"I have a note for you.
"He called himself
"Felix Felidae."

She walked casually
toward the bed,
tugging a note from
under her pillow.

She handed it to me.
I pocketed it and she
smiled wide at me.

"I'll be off then.
"I need to see 
"Mister Smiles again."  

She practically
skipped past us
out of the house.

Salome ran after her.
"Hey! Wait!"
I gave chase.

She was stood outside.
Looking around like a
woman possessed.
The little girl was gone.

Salome took off her mask.
Staring at me.
Her left arm was full of
splinters from the door.

You could see the specks of
blood on her shirt sleeve.

She said it wasn't life 
threatening though.
She said she was fine.

Either way we left quickly.
Hopefully no one called the police.

I read the note
on the way back.
I cannot drive, and
Salome is having
issues with driving
due to her injuries.

But the message.
It was short.

"Why focus on David when you
can have all of your memories back?
Really, you could do far better.
In fact, you have done.

The Ember I knew would have
never given up on the best part.

Me. :3

Felix Felidae."

Salome says she knows someone
who may be able to help.
Though it may take a while to
locate him. 

It is worth a try.

Wednesday, 7 December 2011


The last of the
bandages came
off today.

I am doing knife
training again.
Eating properly,
trying to sleep better.

It is difficult but I have
to try and get back to
normal. Or at least a 
semblance of it anyway.

They were all pretty
shallow, but some of
the deeper ones needed
more time.

They still hurt,
but I am feeling
better. I do not
feel as restricted.

Salome and I
talked the other
day about what

She told me that 
I was not the only
one who did not
wish to die.

I understand her. 
She is just like me,
but she has more

Mother had
issues with our
team work.

We needed to
prove ourselves
if we wished
to be partnered
together in the future.

She smiled at me when
she said we had a way.

There is a small family
who needed killing.
They had been
deemed a threat.

Two people.
They are armed.
They know how to
use them as well.

And they have a
daughter to protect.

We leave tomorrow.

I do not wish to have
a new partner.
Salome is good for me
in her own way.

I am not fighting for
just myself anymore.

I have to do what I
have to do for
the both of us
to survive.

Sunday, 4 December 2011

Keep Calm and try to Carry On

We got back to
the Office today.
We had to travel slower
because of pain.

Four of us altogether.
One taking watch.
The other two sleeping.

They are close,
the other team.

I... I keep them company
unless Salome's on watch.
She makes me try and sleep.

One is really tall,
maybe about my age,
whatever my age is,
I do not know my age.

Fair skinned,
blue eyes with glasses.
He called himself
a fixer. He was kind.

He was always talking about
why he should get blue hair.
How amazing it would be.

He made me think of a 
taller, happier version of Lucas.

We joked,
I was not in the mood
but he cheered me up a little.

He was the one
who properly
bandaged me up.

He said he had
been working for
Mother for years.

But recently,
they had been
stretched thin.

Which was why
they took so long
to arrive to help...

The other was well built, muscular.
A fighter like Salome,
but stronger rather than quick.

Short dark hair with tanned skin,
hollow eyes, he had seen too much.
He did not talk to me that much.
Said that he did not like to grow attached.

They left yesterday on another job.
I wish them well though.

Salome tells me
that my injuries
will have to heal

She says it is
complicated as
wounds that are
inflicted in the Office
are fine the next day.

But wounds that happen
outside do not.

I ask her why but
she just says
"Those are the rules."

I felt like I was covered
in bandages.
I did not need them.
They are not bleeding anymore.

Most of them
are not

I need to see them.
The cuts
I need to remember

Even if it hurts.

Doctor said
I am fine apart from the fact
I'm anemic and feel so tired.
He also said I was suffering from
general anxiety, which makes it
difficult for me to sleep.

I clearly have a very
good combination of issues.

I am to go back
to work in
a few days.

I do not feel fine, but
I understand what
Salome means by
dealing with pain now.

Oh, Salome's back.
She's covered in blood
and has a smile on her face.

It looks like she has
found the one
who is at fault.

"people" who are at fault.
Three of them fell down
the stairs and onto her knife.

Several times apparently.

To me,
the only one at fault is David.
I refuse to be an example to him.
I cannot allow it.

Ember Fay

Saturday, 3 December 2011

"An error somewhere."

We were on the trail of
someone named Sophie.
Salome had the full name.
Our trail led us to Denver, CO.

It is very cold here right now.

We were following her through a
busy street and then she bolted.
Salome drew her gun and
ran after her into an alleyway.

I caught up with her
just in time to see her
pinned by a man.

David Banks.
Lucas told me of him.
The man who did the kind of things.
The kind of things you see in nightmares.

I tried to pull him off of her.
He had me pinned against a wall
before I could say anything.

They talked with me still there,
Salome and David.
Salome did not shoot him.
A part of me wondered
if we were on the same side.

David wanted Sophie alive.
We needed her dead.
I did not wish her dead.
I did not wish anyone dead.

It did not mean I didn't fight him.
I... I tried to stab him.
He dodged it, but
the knife was still gripped in my hand.

Salome called my name
and I froze.
She looked at me for a moment.
I looked at her.
I knew she was going to run.
It was logical.

We had discussed it.
"Call for back up and then come back."
She didn't come back.
She didn't.

I fought.
I stabbed him properly and he didn't even notice.
I tried to shoot him.
He disarmed me.
I needed to buy her time.

He kissed me on the forehead.
He said he admired the two of us.
That it would normally be a good thing that we do not quit.
I tried to be brave.

I tried so hard to be brave...

He said he was going to enjoy this.
The look on his face panicked me.
I fought for my life.
But he did not want to take that.

Everything but my life.

He dragged me back into
a deeper part of the alleyway.
I don't know where I ended up.
I was too busy fighting him.

Then he held me down.

He tied my hands together.

He stood me up,
he held me back against wall.
Then he started humming.
London Bridge is falling down...
Then he started cutting.
Occasionally he stopped,
occasionally he...
Occasionally he would
say offhandedly that
Salome had left for good.
If my legs buckled,
he forced me
back on my feet again.
Hours passed.
More pain than can be imagined.
London is falling down.

I believed him.

all over my body, 
nothing that could
stop me doing my job.

He was careful in what
he did to me.

He cupped my cheek once,
I just stayed there.
I looked him in the eyes.
Those brown eyes.

London is falling

I was so afraid of what those hands would do next.
I did not dare fight him.
The risk of more pain was too great.
But it came anyway.

His skin was so scarred.

I felt so betrayed.
I trusted her,
she told me if I did
what she told me to.
London falling
She would keep me safe.
He told me that I hurt many people.
All I could say
All I could say was
All I could say through the tears was
"I know."

I begged him to kill me.
He wouldn't.
He told me I was too lovely to die.

When they found me...
When he was finished with me.
What was left of my clothes
were torn and drenched in blood.

I had passed out from the pain,
shivering in sub zero temperatures.
When I awoke,
that was all I felt.

David was gone.

My wrists were rubbed raw
from struggling.
Most of the cuts
have stopped
bleeding now,
A few will scar.

We were to head back
because our target was under
David's protection.
There had been "an error somewhere."
Then there was Salome.
Telling me to get some sleep.
Telling me I looked like death.
But I couldn't sleep.
I know you do not like the internet.
But if you read this.
For what you did to me...
I will make you suffer.
I do not care if you are a better fighter
or if you are stronger than me.
I will cut you.

Friday, 2 December 2011

Just thought I'd update you.

It's Salome, I figured you all should know.

We encountered some trouble, I've been sent back to get backup and help them collect Ember. Seems that our target was being fucking defended and he took Ember. Some higher up fucked up and I'm gonna find out who when this is over. When I find that out, there'll be a mature conversation with my fucking god damn knife.

Provided the kid doesn't do anything stupid, Ember'll be fine I'm sure.


Thursday, 1 December 2011

Leaving for a new target.

Today we left for a new place.
Salome and I.
We have been given our orders.
And we intend to act on them.

Or at least Salome does.

I awoke with a letter on my chest.
Salome found it too quickly as I was reading.
I can only give you the bare details from memory.

It was from Jules Chenier to Ember,
he was talking about another murder
similar to the last.

I cannot remember her name.
He was going to ask more questions
about father,
keep pressing it.

I do not know why Ember
was the addressee.
Maybe Jules and Mother
had an agreement?

I do not know.
Also today,
Salome gave me a computer,
small, folds up.
She said it was a netbook?

She says that means
I can file reports
and the likes on site.
Which is good, I suppose.

I suppose that is what happens.

Good bye for now.