Thursday, 10 November 2011


Salome and I were fighting yesterday...
It's difficult to call it sparring when you're using real weapons.
I stabbed her in the gut.
She actually smiled at me as she fell over.

I caught her.

I felt warm liquid over my fingers.
I can't get it off,
I can feel it there,
all over my hands.

I panicked.
I had killed her.

And then this morning.
I awoke.
She was up already,
watching me sleep.

She told me this was a "Loop."
That "Rules work differently here."

Dying in this Loop is not dying in real life.

I asked her if that was like my home.

She nodded.

I had so many questions to ask, she did not answer me.

Why do I forget so much at my home but remember this?
Who am I?
What is my name?

I do not even know if Ember Fay is my real name,
or if they belong to the addressee of these letters.

I suddenly pulled the gun to my own head during target practice, she just shrugged.
"All I have to do is take you outside and you can die properly."

So I am not immortal. Just stuck like before.

I think I understand...

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