A return and a revelation.

She's back.
I woke up today to see her sleeping.
She must have returned late last night.
I got up and let her sleep.


She's different when she sleeps.
Serene.
Although she would kill me if she knew I'd said that.


When she awoke I asked her what happened.
She looked at me coldly and just got some food.
"He fought, I didn't expect him to be so well trained."


A smile formed on my lips. "And then what?"
She shrugged. "Then he got away, I tracked him back to his home."


"And you got the documents?"
"No."
She looked at me like I was stupid.


"You do not realise what you're being trained to do."


It was a fact.


I paused for a moment... I was thinking whilst she studied me.


As I realised what was happening, she smiled wide. This was the first time she'd actually smiled.
"I'm a killer, an assassin, whatever you want to call me."
I paused for a moment, something deep inside of me felt sick.


Fear.
Horror.
Disgust.
"You killed him?"


She nodded and I couldn't control myself. I just swung at her.
It was a reckless punch, and she caught it in her hand.
She twisted my arm around my back pushing me face first into the wall.
My nose broke from the sheer force.


I cried as she hissed into my ear. "So are you."
She pulled me away and shoved me into the wall again.
I slid down the brick, my back was grazed.
I heard the click of a gun cocking.


I was staring into the darkness of the barrel of her gun.


My mind was racing, processing it all.

• H&K P30, .40 rounds, with a 13 magazine that is in the weapon, treat as loaded. 
• Owner is older than you, stronger than you, better than you. 
• You have the lower ground also pain slows you down.

Summary: Give up. You are dead.


"I told you, a bullet is the only way out for you. Either you get shot now and die...
or you might live if you serve Mother correctly."
"Mother?" I was crying, I felt the cold barrel of the gun press against my forehead and I panicked.
I closed my eyes tight. I hated myself, I still do.
"Five seconds." She said. "Five."


Oshitoshitoshit what am I gonna do? She's got a gun.


"Four."


Why me, please god no, not now not now not now.


"Three."


Oh god she's squeezing the trigger, I can't die not now not after all that's happened.


"Two..."


Don't die. Just say you will do this. You can do this. You can.


"One..."


I could hardly breathe.


"I'll serve."


The gun lowered and she held a hand out to me.


I heard her speak, but I don't know what she said. I pushed her hand away and just ran to the window. It was open a crack and I needed the air. The fresh air.


It feels so good to be alive. Even though I have agreed to something terrible.


Does that make me a terrible person?