I did it.
I landed a hit in training today.
She was sparring with me,
she had a knife.
She lunged at me.
I twisted my body and the knife missed me.
It got caught in my top.
I brought my knee up and hit her arm with it.
Then the knife came free.
She jabbed me in the nose
I then felt so much pain in my shoulder.
I fell back and the knife came with me.
I was bleeding.
It hurt so bad.
I cried a lot.
When she cut me,
I cried a little.
But this hurt so much more.
She just told me to shut up and deal with it.
She doesn't show emotion unless it suits her.
I ran back off into the makeshift bedroom.
She did not follow me.
She's an actor.
She says I need to be able to take pain like that.
She says that otherwise I won't be able to do my job.
I ask what I am to be.
She does not answer.
I am tired.
Perhaps the bullet will bring an end to it.
I am not cut out for this, she must be mistaking me for someone else.