It's a hit.

I did it.
I landed a hit in training today.
She was sparring with me,
she had a knife.

She lunged at me.
I twisted my body and the knife missed me.
It got caught in my top.
I brought my knee up and hit her arm with it.

Then the knife came free.
She jabbed me in the nose
I then felt so much pain in my shoulder.

I fell back and the knife came with me.
I was bleeding.
It hurt so bad.
I cried a lot.

When she cut me,
I cried a little.
But this hurt so much more.

She just told me to shut up and deal with it.
She doesn't show emotion unless it suits her.
I ran back off into the makeshift bedroom.
She did not follow me.

She's an actor.
She says I need to be able to take pain like that.
She says that otherwise I won't be able to do my job.

I ask what I am to be.

She does not answer.

I am tired.

Everything hurts.

Perhaps the bullet will bring an end to it.

I am not cut out for this, she must be mistaking me for someone else.