A blur

This shake...
I cannot be rid of it.
Every time I try and stand,
my knee keeps shaking and I fall.

West resolved to let me use him as a crutch.
At least until we can get either decent painkillers
or a real one.

I could walk when the pain was too great,
the adrenaline coursed through me like...
Like fire.
The day after the kill.

Now I'm helpless.

Smith.

Everything went wrong apart from the fact Smith was dead.

I knew it would be difficult.
Me against his bodyguards.
Maybe the need to incapacitate
one of my teams.

This one did not need to be secret.
Not for long anyway.
Tau told me it would save lives.
And I understood it.

I asked West to help.
When he found out...
He said he would keep me alive,
but he would not kill them.

He said that was my calling.

He was tired of following orders.
I understood that much.
I am tired of it too.
Having no other choice.

I was stupid.

Since the last one.
Smith had been locked up in his office.
There were men checking identities.
Stood in front of the access elevator.

West stayed at the elevator,
I went up saying I had information on the assassin.
I remembered the meeting room.
His office.

I silently ran through the times.

Two seconds for the elevator doors to open.
Fifteen to cross the hall.
Three to draw and shoot the bodyguards.
Thirty to stab Smith and escape into the elevator again.

The first thing I knew as the doors opened was a bullet grazing my left arm.
I will skip the blow by blow...
By the time Smith was dead,
my arm was bleeding and I had a gash along my side.

As I turned to leave.
Penny stood in the door.
The blur was there.
Right behind her.

I could not think straight.
Something burned inside me.
She stabbed my calf with a kitchen knife.
I broke her neck and then...

Then I woke up in the back seat of West's car.
I had been gone for thirty minutes.

Duckling.

The pain is back.
I have more to say though.
Another time.
We have to keep moving.