Saturday, 24 March 2012

A Mess

So it appears I have been mistaken,
West looking out for me was in fact West guarding me.

I tried to go for a walk outside for the first time in weeks.
West was there.
He grabbed my arm roughly.
Practically swung me back inside.

He told me that I was not to leave the building.
Otherwise he was allowed to make me suffer.

With me putting so much effort into avoiding people,
I did not realise that people were avoiding me.
It... It hurts.

It makes sense though...

I began to notice it.
People would look away,
move to the other side of the hall.
Not even David has come to see me.

Because of my mistakes...

Perhaps I have been fooling myself.

Maybe the one they actually liked was Salome.
I am just some outsider.

I tried talking to Tau.
He frowned.
"I think you should get going... 
Keep training until we need you."

Until we need you.

My partner dies and suddenly I am unneeded?
Surely with a monster like Moriarty around
I would be needed more than ever.

They never say it, 
but I know it is in their minds.
They ask in hushed whispers. 

"Why didn't Ember fight them?"

"Why didn't Ember protect her?"

I don't know

I dont fucking know


  1. You're just proving my points that much more.

  2. I understand.
    I know the look. The look they give you.
    And as unfortunate as it is, it's rather likely they'll feel the same fear we did soon enough.

    Haha, I have to wonder who the true monsters are in this...

    1. We are all monsters.
      But sometimes we are less monstrous
      than those fighting for humanity.

      But thank you...
      For understanding.

    2. Yes, yes, we know already. You people are so repetitive. But there are no monsters, just criminally insane people. And somehow a lot of the crazy people are wealthy. What a wonderful world.

    3. Are you mad, Ben?
      We do what we have to,
      to survive and help those we can.

      What do you do?
      Antagonize people?
      Tell them that they are wrong?
      Get off your high horse.

      You do not deserve one, Ben.

    4. But the ground is lava, so I'll stay up here where I'm safe. See, I can play incomprehensible too.

    5. What exactly is incomprehensible?
      Other than your incessant babbling, of course.

    6. Ben's pointlessly antagonistic. At least I try to HELP with my snide and cruel comments.

    7. I used to try to help, but then I took an arrow to the knee. Or the people I tried to help got more hurt because of me and so I gave up. One of the two.

  3. I didn't realize things had gotten so bad on your end.
    I wouldn't fret over everyone treating you worse though.
    Anyone who won't stand by you when things get rough is a person you can stand to do without.