West looking out for me was in fact West guarding me.
I tried to go for a walk outside for the first time in weeks.
West was there.
He grabbed my arm roughly.
Practically swung me back inside.
He told me that I was not to leave the building.
Otherwise he was allowed to make me suffer.
With me putting so much effort into avoiding people,
I did not realise that people were avoiding me.
It... It hurts.
It makes sense though...
I began to notice it.
People would look away,
move to the other side of the hall.
Not even David has come to see me.
Because of my mistakes...
Perhaps I have been fooling myself.
I am just some outsider.
I tried talking to Tau.
"I think you should get going...
Keep training until we need you."
Until we need you.
My partner dies and suddenly I am unneeded?
Surely with a monster like Moriarty around
I would be needed more than ever.
They never say it,
but I know it is in their minds.
They ask in hushed whispers.
"Why didn't Ember fight them?"
"Why didn't Ember protect her?"
I don't know
I dont fucking know