Friday, 16 March 2012

Every Teardrop is a Waterfall

We are on our way to a kill.
We have stop in at a motel at about four or five PM.
Create a home base for the day.

It it is silent. Late night.
Salome tells me we were going.
We open the door.
We walkout onto the upper walkway.


Salome turns to the noise,
and so do I.

I feel an arm around my neck.
I elbow him in the ribs and trytriedtry to call out.
He stinks of cigarette smoke.

There are another two on Salome.

Three men.

They are in black,
even their faces are darkened.
They wear Military webbing.

All I see as I am pulled into our room...

I see her shot in the head.
M9A1 with a suppressor and flashlight attachment.
I would bet money nobody even heard it.

One of them catches her and drags her inside as well.
Closing the door.
One man tugs the gun out of my waistband
and lowers me onto the floor.

They are professional...
They knew we would shoot back if they came inside.
So they waited for us to come to them...


How was I so stupid?
W-Why did I think we were safe?
Just because of...

One of the men looks at me
curled up on the floor, and he speaks.
"Tell your order that Moriarty sends his regards.
Follow us and I will break your neck, Proxy."

They leave me unharmed,
he smiles at me as they do so.

So what do I do?
I run after them.
I tug the knife from under Salome's pillow.
I run out of the door.

I feel a hand on my chest.
I see a gun in my face.
"No. Bad dog."

He smiles at me again.

I look down.
I see a tired looking family clambering out of their car.

I do not wish to put them at risk.

I recoil.
I go and cradle Salome in my arms.
I hope she awakens tomorrow.
I know she will not.

I post.

A phone rings.
I am too busy holding her.
I let it go to answer phone...

After the tenth time I respond.

The voice on the phone is comforting.
"It's West. Do exactly as I tell you and you'll be fine." 
"Look kid, breathe before you pass out." 
"We can't leave her there and you can't stay forever."
"You know that black hoodie she has? Put it on her."

"Okay? Good. Now tug the hood up over her head, is the wound well hidden?"
"No? Ok you're just going to make sure no one sees you leave."
"Ember, I know it's difficult for you right now, but you need to calm down."
"Go outside first, open the back door of the car."

"Lift her up over your shoulder, and quickly take her outside. Try and be quiet as you can. Have her positioned so she is between you and anywhere that could pose a good position for as long as you can." 
"I assume you know Baker team came under fire from a sniper controlled by the fucker that did this."
"Once she's in the car, drive north to the next gas station up. We'll meet you there."
"You can't drive? She was supposed to- Nevermind. You've seen her drive yes? Fuck... You're lucky it's an automatic. Just get the hell out of there Ember."

He hangs up.

I sit in the drivers seat.
I turn the ignition.

The CD player comes on, Coldplay.

I turn the music up,
Got my records on.
I shut the world outside until the lights come on.

I turn the music off.
It does not help my mood.
I can't drive and cry at once.

I drive for what feels like miles.
We were supposed to be stopping at the motel, 
shooting the driver as they came in to rest.
I suppose that idea is moot now.

I watch the white rusty SUV drive past me in the other direction..

I wonder if they know how close they came.

I stop at the gas station. 
I tug a blanket out of the trunk and cover Salome with it.
It is 6 AM before they get here.

I must have fallen asleep.
I awaken only when West scoops me out of the drivers seat.
I say nothing. 
I just cling to him.

I listen to his warm voice soothing me.
His hand running through my hair.
Lying to me.
Telling me that it is all going to be okay.

He lets me sleep now.

And then,
two nights before now,
I watch a funeral pyre burning upon the rooftop of the building.
I hope she is in a better place...

The funeral is small,
a few people arrive.
I feel a hand upon my shoulder.
Murmured apologies for her loss.

But they did not like her.
No one really cared for her.
No one except me.

Tau and Theta are there.
Side by side.
Watching her burn.

I cry.
The words West says do not help.

Her bones have been processed.

I am given an black ceramic urn to take down the stairs.
Into the basement.
Into a long hall with shelves.
The walls are lined with the same urns.

I try and walk quickly.
But everything moves around me slowly.
Holding it with both hands,
I place it on an empty spot.

There are maybe a thousand urns just like hers.
Some are covered in dust.

I scratch her name,
into the stone shelf beneath it.

Salome Roux

Her name means peace.
Ironic. I know.
She would kick me if I said that aloud.
There was nothing peaceful about her.

West hands me a single stem.
Red snapdragons.
I lay it in front of the urn,
adjusting it until it looks right.

Then I turn to leave.

Partners are to the death.
I suppose much like marriage.
Only we were not bound by anything
other than the orders of Mother.

Salome once told me,
that our order numbered in the hundreds,
a little over a decade ago.

Now there are thirty.
No one will say why.
Is it just that we do not recruit anymore?

Why do we not recruit?
Why do we choose to allow this order to die?
I wish I knew.
I really do.


  1. Situations like yours, with people like West murmuring in your ear, they are the exceptions to the need for honesty. Sometimes we need to be lied to. I'm sorry for your loss, Ember.

  2. I'm sorry this happened.
    Loss can be hard to cope with. I hope you find your way.

  3. I cant say anything to make things better Ember. I wish i could.