Tuesday, 1 May 2012

A lesson in something or other

Mother orders me to train Ember.
I do as I'm told.
Mother tells me to teach Ember to drive.
I do as I'm told.

Mother tells me to keep Ember under guard.
Of course, I do as I'm told.

But being this genderconfused freak's partner? When did Mother even begin to think I'd like it?

Hello. I am West. If Ember's said anything about me, it's a lie.

I know I should be a better person than this, but I really think your dear Ember needs a wake up call as to how to act amongst people.

You see, in a partner I need to know where loyalties lie. Maybe it's with us, or maybe it's with Salome. I mean, I respect her, but who knows what they did together. It could be with David too, I was passing by the room one time after one of their punishments. I could have sworn I'd heard moaning. Or Swan, I mean they did spend the night in a hotel room after all...

Or it could be Tau, or Theta or those runners it keeps sleeping with emailing to, or maybe even that son of a bitch Moriarty.

Speaking of Moriarty...

I'm not the only one who looks at the kid differently after she gets shot in the head and Ember... Ember doesn't even get a bruise. Maybe they were told to leave the kid out of it. And why is that? I wonder... But most of the backers liked the freak, so I cannot really complain too much about it.

Urgh... Zi, I'm supposed to call it "zi."

Ember's always been pretty quiet since I met her. (Zer?) And since that little mess with Swannyboy and one of our backers died, zi has been chattier. About how it kills people, especially teaching the guys. As such zi's not been blogging so much and it looks like it's up to me to blog for our dear Bender. (Get it? It's a pun because Ember's a such fucking robot sometimes. A paranoid android?)

So here you go, your first glance at the poor sod who landed a partner just as likely to slit my throat as fuck me. (Not that I'd ever want to, don't know what kind of runner cooties I'd catch.)

Hey... I feel better now I've vented. I don't talk much in real life, this is pretty sweet. I might make a habit of it.

See you

West

35 comments:

  1. Nothing happened in the hotel room.
    As a complete aside, I'm going to hit you truck you dick.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "I'm going to hit you truck you dick."
      ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER.
      DO YOU SPEAK IT?

      As for the hotel room, well... Ember got called out early didn't zi? Maybe something happened, maybe it didn't. But the two of you in a hotel room is plenty enough to make people wonder.

      Delete
    2. Please allow me to enunciate,
      I am going to go get a truck and hit you with it while going 80. After that you won't be west anymore. You'll be a smear of blood across wherever the hell I hit you.

      Delete
    3. Then allow me to enunciate.
      I will make that truck wish it had never been manufactured after an impact against me.

      Delete
    4. I accept your terms.

      Delete
    5. That makes it so much harder to dive out of the car.

      Delete
    6. Exactly.
      I want to see the look in your eyes when I flip that shit over my head.

      Delete
    7. It'll be one of amusement. Let skip the hitting you part, I kind of just want to see you flip a truck now.

      Delete
    8. Swan please don't threaten violence on my partner.
      I know he is being a dipshit,
      but I do not wish him dead.

      Delete
    9. Can we still flip a truck? That sounds fun.

      Delete
  2. She that easy? Maybe I'll start emailing her too! C:

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is plenty of truck to go around, John.

      Delete
    2. Yes, if you're into people who can't decide if they're male or female.

      Delete
    3. It isn't the person that can't decide, it's those that are surrounding zir that can't figure it out. They're a bit slow, at times.

      Delete
    4. Seriously? Have you fucked that freak as well? Because that seems to be the only way you can find out. Well, the only way other than diving into restricted personal files anyway.

      Delete
    5. I've never met the 'freak' as you call Ember, but I know what gender zir is. It isn't difficult to find out, especially when you DO have ways of getting into those personal files. If someone owes you a favor, and someone else owes them a favor.. well, the trail keeps on going. If that doesn't work, people are easily bribed. Plain and simple.

      Did you ever think of just.. walking in on Ember showering? Not too difficult.

      Delete
    6. Urgh. So in other words, a friend of a friend of a friend who fucked that thing...

      And I am not the kind of person who does that sort of thing. Far too sneaky...

      Delete
    7. I mean, seriously? Walking in on someone in the shower? Urgh...

      Delete
    8. You're just too lazy. Stop saying things for the shock factor and shut the fuck up for a bit. Jesus. Either find out in the ways you have available, or stop trashing the kid. It really IS that simple.

      Delete
    9. I think my opening line will be- Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me so hard. ;D

      Delete
  3. So given how...rough you seem to be, I believe that my dear Eye has received quite a shock when met you.

    Speaking of which, how is she?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry about that. We were kinda busy because of the...

      You know.

      Death... Thing...

      Eira should have left when that happened. At least that's the last time I saw her...

      Delete
  4. Nice to meet you, West. I'll be pretty happy when you die. Until then, how about we have ourselves a lovely conversation?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A pleasure to meat someone who also seems to fuck all the things. I would love to have a conversation with you.

      Delete
    2. Meat? Is that like a Freudian slip?

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    3. I'll give you a "Freudian slip"...

      Delete
    4. Ugh. West, learn to spell. I certainly wouldn't fuck you.

      I also don't fuck "all the things." I challenge you to find one person with a blog that I've fucked that's common knowledge. I'll wait.

      Nothing? Not a one? Jeez, your boasting is pointless.

      Delete
    5. You fuck all the things too? Emailing you too! C:

      Delete
  5. If you really wish to know Ember's gender, I would be perfectly happy to tell you.

    And before you aired all of your suspisions about your partner, did you try anything else? Like, I don't know, asking? If you want to know where someone's loyalties lie, complaining about it on their blog doesn't seem like the best way to do it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All my love, David. All my love.

      Delete
    2. David's right. Ember will tell you if you ask. I don't think it'd honestly occured to zir that people couldn't tell.

      You are pile of dicks and zi deserves better company.

      Delete
  6. I...
    I am sorry you feel that way.
    I think I will go do something else.

    Sharpen a knife, or something.
    You will find me in that room we use
    to store the guns and ammunition.
    The name eludes me.

    I thought you were my friend.

    ReplyDelete